27 April 2010

Little trick

Whenever things get too much, when the symptoms become too heavy to continue any semblance of active life and I am reduced to breathing through a wave of headsplitting pressure, roaring, shivering... and my fear and panic I have started to comfort myself with the thought that at least I don't have cancer or cluster headaches, migraines, multiple sclerosis or whatever gruesome ailments comes to mind.
It doesn't really work. I am too fucking mad and self centered.
Well, I'll try it for a while.


  1. No, it doesn't really work. The other day, I was here, reading your posts, and tried to compose a comment, but kept on deleting it. I really don't know what to say, knowing that words - though powerful in their own way - are not enough and could not be of any comfort in this instance.

  2. And then again... tonight the air is balmy and full of lilac smells and the almost fullmoon is just coming up and for whatever it takes, I am soo much alive.

  3. "and for whatever it takes, I am soo much alive."

    Good thoughts for you S.

  4. You can add psoriasis to the list. I sometimes think, hey, at least i don't itch. That would really suck.