13 August 2010


After almost two months with pleasant and loving company, first with N and then with R, I am back on my own at home for the day. I am trying to be very good here, staying with it so to speak. And really, we are talking of a mere 8-10 hrs during which I am able to keep myself occupied - sort of.
And there is shopping and preparing meals and some housework - all possible with regular rests in between on most days - and then there is a bit of real work and the prospect of being allowed to return for a few hours to my office.
Still, the taste of panic creeps up, my stomach turns, the hissing and roaring inside my battered ears and balance organs get louder and louder and I have to force myself to stop listening to symptoms. How I hate having to find little distractions. Keep on checking my watch to see how much I have managed so far (6 hrs!!!).

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