Feelings are not as old as time. Just as there
was a first instant when someone rubbed two sticks together to make a spark,
there was a first time joy was felt, and a first time for sadness. For a while,
new feelings were being invented all the time. Desire was born early, as was
regret. When stubbornness was felt for the first time, it started a chain
reaction, creating the feeling of resentment on the one hand, and alienation
and loneliness on the other. It might have been a certain counterclockwise
movement of the hips that marked the birth of ecstasy; a bolt of lightning that
caused the first feeling of awe. […] Contrary to logic, the feeling of surprise
wasn’t born immediately. It only came after people had enough time to get used
to things as they were. And when enough time had passed, and someone felt the
first feeling of surprise, someone, somewhere else, felt the first pang of
nostalgia.
It’s also true that sometimes people felt
things and, because there was no word for them, they went unmentioned. The
oldest emotion in the world may be that of being moved; but to describe it –
just to name it – must have been like trying to catch something invisible.
(Then again, the oldest feeling in the world might
simply have been confusion.)
Having begun to feel, people’s desire to feel
grew. They wanted to feel more, feel deeper despite how much it sometimes hurt.
People became addicted to feeling. They struggled to uncover new emotions. It’s
possible that this is how art was born. New kinds of joy were forged, along
with new kinds of sadness: The eternal disappointment of life as it is; the
relief of unexpected reprieve; the fear of dying.
Even now, all possible feelings do not yet
exist. There are still those that lie beyond our capacity and our imagination.
From time to time, when a piece of music no one has ever written, or painting
no one has ever painted, or something else impossible to predict, fathom, or
yet describe takes place, a new feeling enters the world. And then, for the millionth
time, the heart surges, and absorbs the impact.
I read this book and I don't remember this passage. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this.
I appreciate this, and the connection made between the birth of feeling and the birth of art. However I know, from my own experience, that it's possible to be so addicted to feelings that it becomes incredibly painful, dangerous and even self-destructive. It's back to that Buddhist state of of balance between reason and emotion, the head and the heart, I suppose.
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