The feeling of chewing on cotton wool. After three days of polite conversation and pretending that we like each other. Still, family and memories to share. But I am getting better at this. I have not raised my voice once and occasionally I actually couldn't give a damn. And quietly moved the milk carton from under the sink into the fridge. She loves her comforts and after I showed her how to watch Downton Abbey online all was well.
Tonight the bonus of eating out by the river with the lights twinkling in the water and the chuck chuck noises of the barges, even crickets. A salad of wild lettuce, figs, walnuts, pear fried in butter and cherry tomatoes.
It's over 20 years now that she spat in my face, I don't care about the will, you will never get any of it.
But I can be a really mean bitch, too.
I recently hung a wee sign behind my computer monitor, where only I can see it: "Eh' isch misch uffreg' iss mir's egal."
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