There is a message in my inbox inviting me to earn money with my blog. Oh dear, have things deteriorated that much? What has the world come to etc.
Indeed, it is grey, very grey. Looking outside you feel tempted to adjust the cable the way we sometimes have to with our old tv. Last night we watched a recent film by Neil Jordan and I kept on thinking, when did he start his b/w phase, and, it really can be dark and rainy in Castletownbere, (which is where the film was made) until R started jiggling with the plugs and hey presto, blue skies.
After a prolonged rest, aka Xmas holiday, I went to work again, pretending to be fit and healthy. I survived my obligatory four hours most efficiently, mainly thanks to the fact that hardly anybody was around apart from one research guy who - bless him - mentioned that I looked a bit pale. I tried to fob him off but maybe he had a momentous day of boredom or maybe his latest test series didn't come up with the proper results, anyway, in the end we played a quick game of doctor and patient and he suggested iron supplements. Sweet, eh? Being surrounded by medical research experts has its moments.
Back home I did the decent thing and retired to the horizontal position. That was my father's favourite phrase when he had to answer the phone to any of our friends who happened to call before we were up. In the dark days before cell phones.
The tiny voice somewhere in the back of my head persistently whispers that I am not well. Actually, its exact words are fucking unwell, but what's the difference. I have no idea what to do next and I honestly don't care at this moment in my fabulous life. With any luck, things will improve and if not, well then, they won't.
This thing I posted yesterday - about everyone you meet fighting a battle you know nothing about - came from my daughter's fb page. It is beautiful and scary because now of course I am thinking what battles she
is could possibly be fighting and there goes another quiet night.
This is a sentence I have stored in a secret corner of my brain, from an interview with another medical expert:
While modern medicine cannot cure your illness, understand that your most important human qualities - your personality, your feelings, your intellect, your memory, your ability to love and be loved - are not restricted by being ill, not now and not in future.
Bring on the dancing horses, the skies are grey and wet.