08 December 2013

One of the awful things that living with a chronic disease brings - wait, that's not the way to start this, because to be honest, living with a chronic disease in my experience has so far not exactly been not awful despite all that endurance and enlightenment stuff and the positive living and acceptance shit and oh yes, the good that theoretically comes out of the dark times. 
Well, at least I haven't figured out what should be so great about it. But then again, who knows what kind of middle-aged woman I may have become without this. I wonder if my child would dress up in a life size giraffe costume on skype to cheer me up if I had remained fit and healthy. So, ok, one great thing about it. Probably a whole lot more. Must think about this another day.
Anyway, another uninvited aspect of this state of things is that any symptoms which in theory could stem from a common and garden virus or a stomach bug or whatever, that is anything from a runny nose (which I haven't had for ages) to feverish abdominal cramps with arrhythmia (of which by now I have had my decent share thank you very much), feel like another nail to my coffin. 
No, not really. Only joking. Why is this so complicated to explain. I always think another thing has started and is here to stay for good. As in, a runny nose for the rest of my days so to speak. Which is daft. Or as my GP once said: why not have something normal for a change. 
At present, things are a bit complicated because I have beautiful lab results, mostly (apart from the anca shit but we all know that this is here to stay) but a couple of symptoms screaming to high heavens. Nothing unusual and nothing I could not manage (she declares bravely) but this time I want to be well enough to travel in nine short days. Fingers crossed, light your candles.


  1. candles lit.

    and how wonderful that you daughter desires to cheer you up, giraffe costume and all.

  2. Candles lit. Be well enough.