The first noble truth of the Buddha is that when we feel suffering, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong. What a relief.
Pema Chodron

Another frosty night and the sky this morning was a cold sparkly blue, so innocent. I was looking out at the contrails up high behind the bare trees listening to my GP making arrangements for a couple of tests (just to be on the safe side, don't you worry) while his receptionist was filling out the forms I need to send to the insurance so that we get a refund on the money we paid for the - by now cancelled - trip to Vienna. 

What if I just get my coat and leave. What if I never again sit in a waiting room trying to remember the list of symptoms and observations I had been composing all night in my head. What if it doesn't matter at all what I say. What if I just step out into this beautiful sunny morning air and walk away.