It's uncanny how timely your post today is for me. It was 27 years ago this month that I began to recover from bulimia and anorexia. As a result of my recovery, I am a 65-year-old woman who loves my body and takes good care of it and doesn't support those industries.
Thank goodness my recovery began before the eating disorder treatment center industry was in place and the pharmaceutical industry came forward with expansive medications for eating disorders!
My recovery began when I heard another woman talk about how, six months previously, she had stopped throwing up and starving herself after hearing from another woman that she had done so. Word of mouth and women helping each other was what saved us. It's not a quick and easy process to recover in the way we did, but it is possible to recover without taking expensive medication and without spending thousands of dollars at eating disorder treatment centers.
In 1960, when I was 10 years old, I went on my first diet, having gotten the message from my parents that my maturing body was an embarrassment to them. When my father married my mother, she was painfully underweight. He didn't like "fat" women. After we were born, she maintained a "normal" weight by smoking and with the help of prescription amphetamines for her narcolepsy. When she stopped smoking, she became slightly overweight and began dieting.
This past weekend I realized that I still have traces of that old pattern of not liking the way I look. It was triggered by a cell phone photograph of me taken in the context of a family gathering.
Although I had been feeling relaxed and happy up until that point, when the camera was pointed in my direction I felt fear and apprehension and instantly tried to "look normal" for the family photo. My father had once said, "Why can't you be normal like your sisters?"
When I saw the photo, my mind said, "OMG, I look awful!" It was so strange to feel so good in my skin one moment and then to feel so critical of my face and my mature body in the next moment.
Fortunately, that passed! I'm sitting here liking my face and my body and sobered by how powerful old conditioning is and grateful that it only has power over me if I allow that.
The last thing I want to write down is that in the last year when I went to the low-income clinic where I get my medical care, the nurse practitioner (who was close to me in age) informed me that I could get surgery to lift my eyelids. I looked her in the eye and quietly said, "I like my eyelids just the way they are."
One's attitude to one's body is very much bound up with one's psychological and emotional state, and one's 'learnt' experiences earlier in life. And happily, as Am shows, we do have the capacity to change, to realign our thoughts, to rewire the brain.
5 comments:
And I wonder what would happen if conversely, suddenly all of those industries went out of business- would women suddenly start liking their bodies?
It's uncanny how timely your post today is for me. It was 27 years ago this month that I began to recover from bulimia and anorexia. As a result of my recovery, I am a 65-year-old woman who loves my body and takes good care of it and doesn't support those industries.
Thank goodness my recovery began before the eating disorder treatment center industry was in place and the pharmaceutical industry came forward with expansive medications for eating disorders!
My recovery began when I heard another woman talk about how, six months previously, she had stopped throwing up and starving herself after hearing from another woman that she had done so. Word of mouth and women helping each other was what saved us. It's not a quick and easy process to recover in the way we did, but it is possible to recover without taking expensive medication and without spending thousands of dollars at eating disorder treatment centers.
In 1960, when I was 10 years old, I went on my first diet, having gotten the message from my parents that my maturing body was an embarrassment to them. When my father married my mother, she was painfully underweight. He didn't like "fat" women. After we were born, she maintained a "normal" weight by smoking and with the help of prescription amphetamines for her narcolepsy. When she stopped smoking, she became slightly overweight and began dieting.
This past weekend I realized that I still have traces of that old pattern of not liking the way I look. It was triggered by a cell phone photograph of me taken in the context of a family gathering.
Although I had been feeling relaxed and happy up until that point, when the camera was pointed in my direction I felt fear and apprehension and instantly tried to "look normal" for the family photo. My father had once said, "Why can't you be normal like your sisters?"
When I saw the photo, my mind said, "OMG, I look awful!" It was so strange to feel so good in my skin one moment and then to feel so critical of my face and my mature body in the next moment.
Fortunately, that passed! I'm sitting here liking my face and my body and sobered by how powerful old conditioning is and grateful that it only has power over me if I allow that.
The last thing I want to write down is that in the last year when I went to the low-income clinic where I get my medical care, the nurse practitioner (who was close to me in age) informed me that I could get surgery to lift my eyelids. I looked her in the eye and quietly said, "I like my eyelids just the way they are."
Thank you, Sabine!
Thank you Sabine! And thank you also to am.
I liked very much Am's comment.
One's attitude to one's body is very much bound up with one's psychological and emotional state, and one's 'learnt' experiences earlier in life. And happily, as Am shows, we do have the capacity to change, to realign our thoughts, to rewire the brain.
Definitely sharing this quote. :)
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