Just before I fell asleep last night I had all the answers right there in my head and this wonderful calm was rushing through me. For a second I thought about getting up and writing it all down - it was elaborate and complicated but very meaningful - but instead, I knew that I would remember all of it, word for word, in the morning because it was just, well, so obvious. Obviously.
Over breakfast, I tried to explain it all to R who politely listened and grinned in his usual annoying teacher way and I remembered the slight argument we had I tried to start last night and I could hear my voice the way it sounded at shortly before midnight, raised yet trying not to shout or cry. Something about the world being unfair and his lack of recognising this or maybe it was about the smelly bowl of 3-day old cooked broccoli in the fridge.
He never confirms my greatest fears. But, he said, tell me all about it when it comes back to you, the stuff about all the answers.
I remember one sentence only: We are insignificant.
I am sorry but I love this post. It sounds so much like me.
ReplyDeleteYes. We ARE insignificant and that thought brings me great comfort.
Did I imagine it or was there a person at the end of that splendid video? Watching and listening brought the kind of tears that come when I am in the presence of someone dear to me that I haven't seen for a long long time, and I feel the deepest joy. It's a relief to be insignificant on this vast earth. A part. Not apart.
ReplyDeleteYou and your prince on the white horse. Your long marriage and parenthood are an inspiration to me.
We are insignificant. There is great peace in that. If only we would all put down the guns and pick up the tools for rescuing our beautiful planet.
ReplyDeleteI love this. We are insignificant because we are all significant I think. What we do doesn't matter, and matters greatly too. Thank you for this, for writing it down, for you.
ReplyDeleteWe ARE all insignificant. You might be a Zen priest.
ReplyDeleteXXX Beth
The broccoli! The only thing as bad is uncooked cauliflower.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if we are insignificant. What I know is we are not the most important thing on the planet.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful video. Thank you for sharing it, and I may be sharing it over at my space too. I haven't caught up with your blog in some time, and this post struck me especially. I could relate to the experience, the lost epiphany, the frustration and the gratitude. Wishing you well.
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