Today, I was walking past the bus stop where I first taught S how to get home from school by herself. She was a skinny little 10-year old waif, shy and quiet in public. All afternoon I have tried unsuccessfully to remember what school bag she had at the time. But I remember the yellow jeans and the lilac sweater and her hairband. I can see her standing at the bus stop ready to come home just as I taught her during the days in the previous week when we travelled together every day. I am watching from across the road behind that big tree as the bus comes along. She doesn't know I am there but she is doing all the right things, carefully and seriously, the way we had practiced.
In those days, I was probably the one who was scared most.
Come to think of it, I still am.
That child rearing thing was HARD. It is heartwarming to think of you hiding behind a tree to make sure all went well. When my daughter got her driver's license and took the car alone for the first time, I sat on the couch the entire time she was gone, staring out the front window waiting for the car to return.
ReplyDeleteOf course. We still are.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a parent, but I don't doubt that's natural behavior for parents!
ReplyDeleteI like imagining you behind the tree. The most-loving and protective kind of parenting.
ReplyDeleteA mother's tale. I can see your earnest, serious girl and you with your heart in your throat, making sure. I have these same memories.
ReplyDelete