26 October 2017
The new medical expert has a very quiet voice and I have to lean forward a bit in an effort to hear what she is carefully explaining. I think I like her. She doesn't make a face when I pull out my phone and open the list of questions I had prepared earlier. What app are you using, she wants to know before she whispers her detailed answers.
I know she said that I look well and healthy, that there are certain tests and examinations she wants to carry out, but that I need to take this medicine for ten days beforehand, that she will make a note in my file for the switchboard to give me priority when I am ready to call her, that I should not think of the t word or the c word. And that she wants me to consider maybe not working the three hours I have managed - poorly - in the last couple of weeks.
We part almost as friends for life.
Outside, the air is mild, people are eating ice cream, I walk into the bookshop and briefly hold that bestselling book on miracles in medicine in my hands. It has a nice cover. I don't dare to open it, gently put it back on the shelf. Instead, I read a few pages of Noam Chomsky's Optimism over Despair.
When I go to unlock my bicycle I notice the Roma woman sitting on the steps to the tourist office, begging, with a curly haired toddler in her lap. She looks at me and I hold my breath. For a moment, I want to run over to her with open arms, hands full of food, care and love. But I turn and walk around the corner and quietly phone my friend at the women's centre. Don't worry, she assures me, go home, one of us will come and have a look now.
I cycle home through my beautiful neighbourhood, the tree lined streets, the colours of autumn. I smile at friends I meet and they wave back and the wind blows the tears from my eyes.
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I am happy you have that kind of doctor. it makes such a difference. i know that deeply now, in a way i did not before my husband fell in. now i am grateful for his cardiologist and how invested she is, how much she feels like a life partner in his care.ReplyDelete
I don't even know what to say except that may all of this be over and the results be okay, okay, okay.ReplyDelete
Sending love from this part of the world to yours.
I'm glad you called the woman's center. The world is complicated. Love and beauty really do seem to hurt, sometimes. I like the sound of this new doctor.ReplyDelete
... now you have me wiping tears from my spectacles ...ReplyDelete
Thank you for these images of talking with the new doctor, witnessing the world outside, cycling, loved, in this beautiful autumn that is not without tears, and you open to the joy of being alive.ReplyDelete
ah, there must be a story with the Roma woman and child that I don't know. but so glad this new doctor is one you like. like Ms Moon, I hope for the best possible results and soon.ReplyDelete
Your new doctor sounds like a good partner in healing. I hope all goes well and that in ten days she will have answers when you call. Take care there, Sabine. Thinking of you.ReplyDelete
I hope that all goes well for you. Your doctor sounds very human.ReplyDelete
Greetings from London.
What a beautiful series of moments you've captured -- I felt as if I were there.ReplyDelete