We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
E.M. Forster
This may be the last day for the winter coat for a while, I am ready to chuck it deep into the darkerst corner of the wardrobe. This morning, I cleared the ice from the windscreen in the sharpest sunlight full of promises. Warmth, birds, colours.
The fog in my head and my bones is lifting, slowly. Getting ready for spring.
I am already overdoing it. Trying to calm the niggling thoughts that this exhaustion may stay with me - as predicted. Yesterday, I cycled furiously, yes furiously, for half an hour against the cold wind and pretended to feel invigorated for a while. In my office, I worked hard at being efficient and laughed at the right moments. Nobody noticed.
At night, angry dreams woke me up. At one point, I watched my feet changing shape, toes fusing into thick round swellings, nails curling upwards as if to tell me that my walking days are over.
Still, stuff happens, life is wonderful - enough.
Yes. Glad to be alive for spring rain and birds singing in the dark. Breathing.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to know you are working and cycling. Yes, life is wonderful-- enough.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how people do it that live where it is cold more often than warm. my blood is thin. we must let go of unfulfilled desires or else become bitter. easy for me to say. my life has been relatively free of big obstructions.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to seeing pictures of spring flowers.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how peole with no choice are supposed to heed these words:
ReplyDeleteWe must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
E.M. Forster
The quote works best in priveledged situations but how does it apply to the wrongly imprisoned, refugees, people whose land has benn stolen, people in war-torn places?
Try not to overdo it. Or...not. As you see fit. You are a grownup and you can make decisions for yourself. Mostly, I just want you to be able to enjoy the opening of the world to the sun as spring makes itself known in your part of the world.
ReplyDeleteOh spring - how you need it, with or without wonky feet!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this lovely song.
ReplyDeletelife is wonderful enough. yes.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for spring! I'm with you on chucking the winter coat! I wore it out today and I don't think it was even quite necessary, which was a wonderful feeling.
ReplyDeleteI think I see what Forster was saying with that quote -- to be open to what IS, as opposed to clinging to what we feel ought to be. It's a very Buddhist idea, actually. Cold comfort in certain situations but inexorably true.
The only way I could cycle furiously for half an hour would be if the path was absolutely flat and my watch was not working correctly and 10 minutes read as half an hour.
ReplyDeleteE.M. Forster's quote is my constant mantra right now.