01 October 2018

"The only border that matters is that thin blue line of atmosphere."
 Nicole Stott (astronaut and artist, she painted the first watercolour in space)

Most days I get through ok, whacked, shaky and by 5 pm I can spell exhaustion in all caps. But the goal is to reach a stable state, enough to eventually allow for some extravagance, such as travel and a few wild nights and so on.  Stable state is not a magical condition, it's the best I can hope for (and oh, do I hope!). It's the little sister of steady state (physics: when a condition does not change over time or whereby one change is continually balanced by another) but less fixed. Basically, it means, don't go overboard for the next 12 weeks (max) until the dose increase of the drugs takes hold. And then we shall see if it works.
This is nothing new. As one of the world's most experienced immunosuppression drug user, I know that these little numbers don't work a la Hollywood movies where the distraught patient knocks back a large pill, preferably without water, and hey presto, within seconds feels better.

So I am really good these days, resting and reading and distracting myself from beckoning activities. Mostly. We did a deep clean of the tile floor in the kitchen yesterday, on our knees with brushes etc., but I swear R did most of it and the kitchen is not that big anyway.

I've watched City of Joy and it is simply an amazing, uplifting, empowering documentary about women, community, dedication. I cried and I laughed and ah well, in the long run, women have the answers. I want the whole world to watch it.

There's a blog to read as well, klick here.


  1. I have not watched the documentary but I went to the blog and it is magnificent in its pictures, words, and message.

  2. Empowering women to speak so important!

  3. One might, I suppose, prefer stable state to entropy (A thermodynamic quantity representing the unavailability of a system's thermal energy for conversion into mechanical work, often interpreted as the degree of disorder or randomness in the system. OR Lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder).

    As I've got older and the my abilities for mechanical work (Rock-climbing, ski-ing, medium-distance swimming) have fallen away like The Ten Little - (Fill in the least anti-PC option here) I can't help feeling that entropy is gaining and will eventually overtake me. Especially at 06.25 when putting on my slippers looms like an ascent of the Matterhorn if only by the Hörnli Ridge. The terrifying thought is that if slipper-assumption can be regarded as mechanical work, what's next? Having a creative thought?

    I comfort myself with the fact that it's now 07.15 and I've managed this.

  4. You are often close to my heart. Thank you for the information about City of Joy. I look forward to watching it. Strength is contagious. You cultivate strength, and I appreciate that so much.

  5. May stable state prevail, Sabine. Yes to travel and a few wild nights and so on for you.

    Although my limited income does not allow for a Netflix subscription, I will see if a friend will let me watch "City of Joy" with her. Thank you so much for posting the trailer and the link.

    I do love the idea of a woman being both an astronaut and an artist painting watercolors in space.

  6. I hope the increase brings you some measure of normalcy and activity.

    there have been cultures in the past that have recognized the importance and value of women but as long as the world is dominated by the Abrahamic religions we have nothing but a fight to get recognised. men point to the story of Eve in the Garden to prove our fecklessness. how dare Eve want to be educated! she is meant to be a helper only and do what she is told.

  7. My mom always said that if women ran the world, there would be no wars. And I always heard when doing development work that the key to boosting a community's wealth and prosperity was getting money into the hands of the women -- because men spend money on themselves, but women spend it on their families. These are gross generalizations but I think there's more than a kernel of truth to both!

  8. Thank you for sharing the trailer of what look likes an amazing documentary. It gives me hope.

  9. I've been thinking of you and wondering how you are. Hoping that the new drugs work well for you. Just thinking about a world run by women and what is unfolding in my country right now, well it's hard to even imagine. Last night the President made fun of a woman who was sexually assaulted. He MOCKED her. This is my country run by white male privilege. Take care, my friend.