Last night in a dream, far away from reality, I heard the words "sharp spoon" whispered in my ear, and I woke up with one of these silent screams - like in the movies. A sharp spoon is a dentistry tool and it is exactly that, a tiny stainless steel spoon with a very sharp edge. I cannot remember how often I heard these words uttered by a dentist leaning over my mouth, as in "hand me that fucking sharp spoon", but every time was gruesome. Maybe I inserted the f word in my memory.
Briefly, (and bear with me, you are all safe) a sharp spoon is used to remove connective and granulation tissue, i.e. bundles of inflamed matter, from the tooth socket when, after a tooth extraction and against all of the rules of dentistry, the gap has not filled with nicely and rapidly coagulating blood. Use your imagination if you wish. This procedure is applied when you are immune compromised or maybe because there's a spell on you and you have spent a seemingly endless amount of time in tooth ache hell.
Anyway, all over and done. Worse than childbirth, believe me. And it's only recently that I have been able to vaguely remember the time this happened, the three months of my life I lived with a large hole inside my mouth that would not heal, without getting a slight panic attack.
I have no idea where all this dream stuff is coming from now but we are both having various bad dreams, almost nightmares. A sign of the times? I don't know. Life, when I look at it without the bigger picture, is gorgeous early summer, mild evenings, the beauty of a twice/week cycling commute through the lush forest, pleasant work atmosphere, the first strawberries to pick and so on. But, oh yes, the bigger picture. One of these mornings after wake up, we discussed selling up and moving back to Ireland, neutral country etc. and just that day, the state media in Russia showed a clip of a mock nuclear attack. At the end there was only green ocean where Ireland and Britain should be. No use shouting that Ireland is an independent state, nothing British about it. (If you want to watch it, click here). And instead I am getting worked up about a sharp spoon, seriously.
Here are some random garden pictures.
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| wisteria, horse chestnut and black prunus |
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| sweet cicely under the apple tree |
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| woodruff under the pear tree |
And some peaceful music with an amazing cello solo, wait for it.
Never experienced childbirth but do know how all-encompassing dental pain is. Definitely nightmare material.
ReplyDeleteDon't know what I would do without music and words and gardens and the relief of waking up from nightmares like the ones I've been having.
In my nightmares, I am alone. Awake, I'm not alone.
I wanted to know more about Allison Russell and found the lyrics and liner notes below them. Thank you once again for an introduction to music I may not have heard otherwise.
https://genius.com/Our-native-daughters-youre-not-alone-lyrics
"...The strength and resilience of all our ancestors sustain us. In this time when schools need to practice active shooter drills and places of worship become targets and houses of death, we are not alone. Our ancestors survived worse. For their sake and our children’s sake, we can do better. We can be better. We are one family, blood and bones, one race—human—and so many beautiful colors. We have love. We can take better care of each other. Music helps. Music heals."
(Allison Russell -- excerpt from liner notes)
This dream is close to home for me, since I had an extraction about a week ago and have been living on Tylenol most days since then. I have finally begun going through the day without it. I don't think I have a dry socket (which they warned me about) but I've enough other problems that I have not acted on this slow healing gum. The area had been infected for months before it was pulled...and I am glad it's over. I hope some peace will come in your nightime dreams soon. I haven't been having any at all lately.
ReplyDeleteI always like to see your garden photos! I'm sure the general state of the world is contributing to anxiety dreams in a lot of people -- maybe not all involving sharp spoons, though. That nuclear talk from Russia is all smoke and mirrors. Putin is a barbarian but I just don't believe he's THAT barbaric or insane or suicidal.
ReplyDeleteIt is so rare when your unconscious mind actually speaks to you in a dream. Really interesting, this idea presented to get your conscious attention, the resulting imagery, thoughts, and the story you've presented here. I can't help but think you've already analyzed the intent because you said "Anyway, all over and done. Worse than childbirth, believe me. And it's only recently that I have been able to vaguely remember the time this happened, the three months of my life I lived with a large hole inside my mouth that would not heal, without getting a slight panic attack."
ReplyDeleteWhy don't put you under for an oral surgery like that? That sounds barbaric.
ReplyDeleteYour dental experience scares the sh*t out of me! I have a tooth that needs to be pulled. I keep waiting for it to just fall out. It's very loose. I worry so much about going to the dentist and having him do it. I don't know what to do. It's not causing me pain. I suppose if it were sore, I'd call the dentist and just get it done. I hope you're healing up now and that all is improving in every way there.
ReplyDeleteThe world is crazy right now. I am so worried about what comes next.
The only balance is the beauty of our natural world. Thank you for that.
The world is shit, the flowers are beautiful. Perhaps that should be the start of a poem.
ReplyDeleteSteve doesn't think Putin is insane or barbaric enough to do what is shown in the video. I think he is that insane and barbaric. He is an evil piece of shit.
I had a very vivid dream about my girlfriend last night, afraid to enter her own house without knocking because her children were drug addicts and she wanted to give them time to put away their drugs. My girlfriend does have a son who is a drug addict but if dreams are supposed to be about yourself, I wonder what this one says about me?
"... bundles of inflamed matter, from the tooth socket when, after a tooth extraction and against all of the rules of dentistry, the gap has not filled with nicely and rapidly coagulating blood..."
ReplyDeleteWhen one comes upon a passage like this it's inevitable one asks : what was the state of mind of the writer? Was this written all-a'tremble or with lip-smacking relish? Or a mere three steps ahead of pursuit by The Gruesome Fairy.
Mind you, one keeps one's thoughts to oneself.
Probably not your intent, but the idea of a dentist saying, "Hand me the fucking sharp spoon" made me giggle. That music is beautiful. I was watching in and wondering where the cello was, but finally the camera panned over.
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