26 February 2010

round about

Woke up this morning to gorgeous birdsong and the realisation that the awful echo in my left ear had disappeared. Bliss. Noises have become just noises not big roaring bombs exploding in my head. The hissing is still there, a steam valve inside my head about to burst. A new, higher pitch with less reverberance.
But as I started to look out into this day the world was turning. What an irony that on my last day in this clinic I am back to the one symptom that cleared up within the first few days here almost four weeks ago. Vertigo. Not a fair exchange but what is fair. Vertigo has come and gone so often in recent years and so did the last two - and heavy - attacks since Sept. I just hope they don't keep me here now for another week.
At breakfast where the bad sleepers met and compared notes of difficulties with digestion, TV noises and worrying thoughts during the night, G. spoke about how this present span in a life is just that: a timespan and that when viewed as part of life so far we can see how life changes and always has and that this time span will also come to its end and change into a new one. Accept this and do not fret or compare.
She said this with her gentle smile and her primary school teacher voice and I so much hope she can accept it for her own rather horrific situation. I will take these words into my day now.

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