20 April 2010


Name of that unfortunate ship stuck in polar pack ice. Shrink no 2 told me to work on endurance. Said I was too used to hold the strings, to order and direct and organise and cope but not experienced in enduring. She also said it could be due to experiencing significant helplessness as a child. Huh? Obviously, but do I want to travel down that road - again?
But enduring, that's a challenge. Reminds me of K explaining to me how a panic attack works, how the body can only sustain panic for a limited period of time (20 min) before the adrenaline rush slows down and the body simply has to calm down again.


  1. Twenty minutes eh. Seems like the rest of a lifetime, while one is at it. Last panic attack I had was in 2008 (terrible terrible episodes), and I was on the edge of a sidewalk, digging my fingernails into the palm of my hands, so that I don't step into the traffic, a screaming in my head shutupshutupshutup

    No. I am not going that way again.

  2. Well 20 min is tops, apparently average duration is "mere" 10 min, much less in many cases. The body simply has to slow down the adrenaline rush as soon as possible - survival instinct, I've been told this happens involuntarily.