I have a tooth ache and I am fighting panic. It's probably nothing but I am so very scared. I am 56 years old, I have done quite a lot of amazing things on three continents for the last 35 years and I act like a frightened child. Oh how I wish someone would come and tell me that all will be well, very soon. But when you are 56 years old, you are supposed to cope in these situations or at least not act like a child. You can listen to the regular breathing of the man asleep next to you. You can watch the cat watching you, only she is blind and just stares into space for a while. The moon so stunning earlier tonight is hidden behind a hazy fog.

I will feel like a right fool in the morning, I know. 

Earlier this week I hurt my back doing a simple exercise to strengthen my back muscles. Something I have been doing for years, the exercise I mean. My first back ache in 19 years but we recognised each other like old friends. It is actually hilarious, my GP laughed when I explained how it happened and sent me on to physiotherapy. 

That time, 19 years ago after the car crash when I had spine surgery. Nothing compared to having a tooth ache.