10 January 2018
it's terribly important not to be too gloomy
The fabulous Mary Beard speaking.
At around 6:30 am after a night when I exhausted myself on the battlegrounds of gastritis I realised that I really don't have to go to work at all today, I can just call in sick and if they hold it against me, so be it. Which of course is paranoia on my part because labour protection etc. Also, as my clever daughter pointed out to me, complaints about my work in general solely based on my age is a rights violation (that's called ageism, mum, don't let them get away with it).
So, I am staying home because I am old and sick or maybe because I am sick and old. Take your pick.
Or rather, because I feel like shit and just want to potter about a bit, watch/listen to Mary Beard, not brush my greying hair, read my book with a hot water bottle placed on my bloated tummy.
And: no apologies.
The river is receding, the birds are very busy courting and getting things ready in the hedge for their spring marriages. Even the sun came out for a (very) short while.
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I struggle daily with the issues Ms. Beard's film. It's very difficult for me.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also struggle with giving in to what my body wants some days, which is rest. Not to the extent you have to, but in the simple and normal aging process. I feel somehow that if I keep as physically active and productive as ever, I won't really be getting older, no matter what the mirror shows. It's all so self-deceptive and probably not healthy. I find myself still comparing myself to my age-peers, just as I always have, but in a different way. I wish I could change this about myself.
As I've gotten older (I'll be 66 on my next birthday), I've grown to absolutely appreciate being this age, and also coming of age in the time I did. I love being part of a generation that seriously grappled with the biggest issues of our time and road a wave of both political engagement and musical genius. Our aging bodies are testimony. Hope you are starting to feel better, Sabine.
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a good day at home. Good choice. I've noticed here, too, from the sound of it, that the birds are preparing for "their spring marriages." Well put.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that link you left at my blog. In the context of what Mary Beard has said about the voices of women being devalued or ignored or not even heard, it determined that I must be a 38-year-old male because of the way my written "voice" sounds on Facebook. Thirty years younger than my actual age and a male! Yep! Thank you for the opportunity to hear Mary Beard speak.
It won't be long before the trees start budding and bulbs come up. My flowering quince is showing very early signs of waking up for spring.
I linked this post today. I hope you don't mind. If you do- please let me know and I will take it down.
ReplyDeletemmerluna@aol.com
Mary you are welcome!
DeleteWe matter - whatever our age and gender. And because we matter we should take care of ourselves as best we can, and speak up for ourselves if we feel the world is forgetting us. I hope your innards settled after your day off.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you took time for yourself. (As a fellow occasional gastritis sufferer I can identify -- ugh.) We've all been brainwashed by our Western cultures to feel guilty when we're not being "productive" and all that BS. But it's your life, and you need to take care of you!
ReplyDeleteI received a copy of Mary Beard's book "Women & Power" for Christmas. It is next on my reading list. After viewing this video, I am REALLY excited about reading it. And I like your statement,"No apologies."
ReplyDeletewe women are socialized to put everyone else ahead of ourselves so that 'no apologies' bit is the most important part of your decision to stay home and take a day to recover.
ReplyDeleteNo apologies. Take care of you. Love.
ReplyDeleteFuck 'em, I say. Getting older is a courageous act.
ReplyDeleteI finally took the time to listen to this video this morning and loved it. I personally enjoy getting older, not the sore feet but the respect it affords. I have a lot of experience now, I am a mentor at work, I am the old nurse and don't mind that. I work in cancer care and have many patients who won't live to be my age, 55, and I appreciate getting older. I also like the freedom it affords me. I am financially comfortable, don't get hit on by men and can speak my mind. Thank you for sharing the video with me.
ReplyDeleteIt's inappropriate here but I can't find the reference anyway. You recommended le Carré's Our Game. I thought I hadn't read it. Ordered it. Started reading and confirmed my unawareness. I would have remembered. So...o....o slow. Such that I set up a guessing game (no prizes): who will die first? And when death did strike (a couple of times, actually) the corpses were previously unknown to me.
ReplyDeleteThis represents a progress report. Clothes get a lot of coverage.
Things appear to be speeding up though so I'm witholding judgment.
She's great.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am alone, I feel ageless. I never think young or old. Often that carries over into when I am with younger people, I still don't feel old. But I'm sure, for me, it has a lot to do with lack of maturity. The other day my daughter and I were talking about something and I suddenly said "fuck that noise". She burst out laughing and said "I can't believe I have a mother who still says "fuck that noise". See, not mature.