21 May 2018


the only thing to do is simply continue
is that simple
yes, it is simple because it is the only thing to do
can you do it
yes, you can because it is the only thing to do
. . .
and surely we shall not continue to be unhappy
we shall be happy
but we shall continue to be ourselves
everything
continues to be possible

Frank O'Hara 

Not quite, let me add. Not everything. But who am I to ask for more.
My mood is lousy, my health is rough, I am doing all the wrong things and for reasons I pretend I cannot figure out. So yes, another medium sized flare up, unexspected and believe me, I tried to ignore it. But tell that to the vestibular nerves, the clue lies in the term labyrinthitis.

Once I was a schoolgirl on exchange in a strange land, afraid to enter the maze at Hampton Court, when a kind soul explained that upon entering a labyrinth, all you need to do is move with your hand along the right side of the path, never let go, no matter how many twists and turns, and you'll find your way out.

This is me at the moment, holding on to the wall on my right as I move through the house, slapping it with my hand in anger and frustration. And no way out in sight. Certain people are avoiding me for good reasons and so on.

This will pass, we all know that. I wish I was a better patient person.

(Oh. And I am reading all your blogs and in another life, I would comment. Believe me.)









8 comments:

  1. And we are here. I truly believe you are as good and patient a person as a person can be. Try not to heap unnecessary criticism on yourself, just as you would not do that to another person. Especially a person who was having to experience what you do.

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  2. I'm sorry you're having a flareup. I love the advice about the labyrinth -- I've never heard that before but it seems applicable, in a sort of metaphorical way, to so many problems in life! (Which is why you mentioned it, obviously!)

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  3. I am so sorry for the flareup and hope it dies down and out very soon. Your story of the labyrinth blew my mind, actually, -- its relevance to what I'm going through with my daughter is just perfect. So, thank you.

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  4. Sending love as you keep your right hand to the wall, slapping it with anger and frustration, and accompanied by music with the power to let us all be present and carried through whatever comes our way, together in our separate experiences of both joy and sorrow. Labyrinthitis indeed.

    Here's Frank O'Hara reading his poem:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbcCZx0x90k

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  5. I've been wondering how you are, Sabine, and am so sorry you are experiencing a flare up. Great advice about keeping your hand on the wall. Yes, I think I will try that as I wander through this maze of American politics, trying not to get lost in the midst of despair. Take care there.

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  6. Sabine, what an extraordinary insight, the right hand to he wall, i had no idea, but now I shall never forget it. I hope the physical symptoms ease very soon, and with them the despair. In every moment we do our best, and how wonderful your best is--you have reached across oceans and set of lightbulbs in so many readers minds. I am blowing healing winds back across the seas to you. No pain, no pain, no pain. And love.

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  7. OMG

    The music. the music.

    thank you

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  8. Don't let go, use what you must to get through this. I think you are one of the best people I have come into contact with in my 66 years on this planet.

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