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| this is what I see right now |
All is new and all is changed. I am at the other side of the planet holding a baby, eating fresh apricots (only briefly contemplating what having just enjoyed a second midsummer in six months will do to my aging process).
Deep inside of me a hundred million fears are hissing even when - and especially while - I look into the eyes of this new person, utterly strange and yet completely familiar, who looks back at me with open clear eyes, safe in the arms of my radiant daughter. And my heart aches watching my own, so amazingly adult child in the knowledge that she will now have to learn to carry these fears herself, the ancient fears of motherhood and all the new ones, the ones about our planet, our home, our future.
"Losing hope is the same as dying. Recovering hope as a social force is the fundamental key to the survival of the human race, planet earth, and popular movements. Hope is not a conviction that something will happen in a certain way. We have to nurture it and protect it, but it is not about sitting and waiting for something to happen – it is about a hope that converts to action."Gustavo Esteva
Wendell Berry". . . the care of the earth is our most ancient and most worthy and, after all, our most pleasing responsibility. To cherish what remains of it, and to foster its renewal, is our only legitimate hope."
I don't have much time to be online, to comment but I enjoy reading your blogs - as always.
I suppose there is some small degree of fear present within our love for anyone, or anything - our desire for their safety and their well-being, our knowledge that none of that can be controlled. In any case I'm glad you're in a new place and have the opportunity to enjoy your family and the holidays.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to see a post here and read a bit of your adventure so far from home as a new grandma. I love the quotes and the photos. I have been thinking of you and sending good wishes your way. Happy holidays, Sabine.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, Sabine. Enjoy that baby.
ReplyDeleteI loved the quotes here but the one that made tears start to my eyes was your own - "And my heart aches watching my own, so amazingly adult child in the knowledge that she will now have to learn to carry these fears herself, the ancient fears of motherhood and all the new ones, the ones about our planet, our home, our future." The hope lies, I'm guessing, in the clear eyes of that new little person. Enjoy your time with them - and the apricots!
ReplyDelete'tis Christmas Day here but not officially. Our house still slumbereth. Here's to our friendship and its continuation. And to all absent friends.
ReplyDeletethere is nothing like a newborn child. they still have one foot beyond the veil with knowledge they will soon forget in order to begin the lessons they have set out for themselves.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous. Merry Christmas! :-)
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
Babies give us hope, a new beginning. I don't know where you are but it looks beautiful. Congratulations on your new grandchild.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas! Enjoy the little one. Lovely photo.
ReplyDeleteWhat a miracle to look into the eyes of your child's child! Those ancient mother fears are part of our DNA, I think. They keep us vigilant. Enjoy your precious family. I can only imagine the love and joy that travel with the quiet fear. It's a potent force in the universe.
ReplyDeleteSending love to you and R and the newborn baby and newborn mother and newborn father in all your radiance in that jewel-like part of the world where it is midsummer and apricots are ripe. Babies bring me the deepest range of emotions, with the gift in their open clear eyes.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are having a wonderful time with that new grandbaby. Babies are purely magic.
ReplyDeleteAch, wie wunderbar! Prost and Congratulations liebe Sabine! I send you all sparkling wishes für 'n guude Rutsch, gelle!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy being a grandparent, too. I also find it uncanny watching my children doing the kinds of things I did in my 30s. It seems incongruous sometimes: like when I was reading a manga comic the other week while my daughter was watching something "stuffy" on TV.
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