14 June 2023

Our ongoing efforts of clearing and discarding has brought a box of soft toys to the surface we had forgotten about. Some of them are downright ugly, collected, no doubt, as gifts. Others have a place in memory, the lamb, the mohair teddy, the little hedgehog and so on. All played a role in my daughter's life. Not a dramatic one, they were somewhat down the line in the hierarchy of important soft toys.

After 25 or so years in a tea chest in the attic, they have this dank smell of neglect. Not mold, but that old unwashed smell. I have put them through the washing machine twice, with added vinegar and disinfectant, left them in the hot blazing sun for three days in a row. I can still detect some smell. Maybe others would not. I have asked friends and the internet and in a next step, will place each toy sprinkled with baking soda in a plastic bag overnight. Next on my list of helpful suggestions is the plastic bag treatment using coffee grinds. A neighbour recommends soaking them all in the bathtub filled with a bleach dilution for a couple of days. I find that harsh, I woke up last night thinking that this must be the very last resort. I don't understand why I am so obsessed in getting them clean and, well, actually, good as new.

Yesterday at work, one of my longtime bosses (a professor of medicine) asked me into her office and in a quiet voice wanted to know if I was alright. The thing is that I have lost a noticeable amount of weight in recent months and at a meeting earlier that day, she watched me pick up my watch which had slipped down my wrist and hand. I have stopped wearing rings because they just fall off. The weight loss is unexplained, I am not (and never would go) on a diet. It has been noted by the doctors that I need to see regularly, a couple of diagnostic steps so far have yielded no cause, some more are due. I tell her all that and she is reassured that I am paying attention.

Last night, in my dream I was trying to walk and could not and when I looked down where my legs should be, they weren't there anymore. I sat up and calculated that if this goes on, I will be dramatically underweight by Xmas. 

Meanwhile, it has become hot and dry. The potatoes are harvested, masses of blackcurrants are almost ready, strawberries are picked every morning, we are giving away fat heads of gorgeous iceberg lettuce. The lack of rain is obvious already, the raspberries are small, there are new brown patches on the lawn every day. 

And lastly, this! Watch this!


Ms. Moon said...

That is worrying and frightening- the weight loss. I hope that they can get to the cause of it and that it can be remedied. Oh, Sabine! You go through so much!
What a beautiful video. It reminds me a bit of the Haka done by the Maori.

Anonymous said...

37paddington: The video is wonderful! That is a large number of firefighters, all so fit and beautiful and ready! I love to see the women among them.

Steve Reed said...

Well, that has to be scary. I hope your doctors find the cause pronto. Would it help to take a nutritional supplement or shake of some kind? Please keep us posted!

(About the stuffed animals, too!)

Pixie said...

I always worry when people lose a lot of weight quickly, usually something is good on and I'm glad your boss noticed and talked to you about it.
My province is burning and our shit for brains (SFB) premier is clueless, maybe it's arson she says. She lives in denial.

ellen abbott said...

I assume you are continuing to eat as much or more as before the weight loss. it is worrying. and that is a lot of firefighters from South Africa coming to help. can you imagine any group of Americans willing or even capable of that? I can't. our culture is so shallow.

NewRobin13 said...

Sabine, I find this news so worrisome. I hope your docs find an answer. Please keep us posted. And I hope you find a way to clean those stuffed animals. Sending you the very best wishes from my heart to yours for everything to be fine.

beth coyote said...

Be well, dear Sabine. and thanks for the video-it's wonderful!

Colette said...

I am concerned.