hello May

 

 

 

 . . .  and my point is, there is always something. I think as a species we have a desire to believe that we are living at the climax of the story. It's a kind of narcissism. We want to believe that we are uniquely important, that we're living at the end of history, that now, after all these millinia of false alarms, now is finally the worst that it's ever been, that finally we have reached the end of the world.

 

Emily St. John Mandel, Sea of Tranquility 

The weather last week was beautiful, sunny, the kind of not-too-hot warm air that makes me want to spend all day outside. Which is what I did more or less. That and three mornings on the ongoing diagnosis trail which culminated in an endoscopic sonography exam, a most pleasant experience as I was knocked out by propofol. And now I am waiting for the verdict. I must say that everybody has been very nice and pleasant and professional and informative about the usual caveats and risk factors. But seriously, I am so tired of it by now and my face is hurting from smiling and looking upbeat and friendly all the fucking time. Thank goodness, it's May at least.